Holidays and Dysregulation
It’s that time of year where we are approaching the holiday season…and quickly at that! Halloween is around the corner followed closely by Thanksgiving and Christmas…where does the time go? At the clinic, we tend to see increased dysregulation during sessions as well as reports from caregivers of increased meltdowns at home. Holidays are a time when children and caregivers experience a high frequency of dysregulation. Between sugary treats, changes in routine, unexpected events, and the stress of shopping – it is very easy to enter “fight or flight mode.” Planning ahead and utilizing some simple strategies can make the holiday season enjoyable for everyone.
You may be asking yourself, “what do you mean by dysregulation?” Regulation is our body’s ability to facilitate appropriate emotional responses given the demand of the situation. Some emotions we experience in a regulated state are: calm, focused, safe, and happy. When we are dysregulated, the intensity of our reaction does not match the situation. Some emotions we might experience are: anger, sadness, fear, irritability, and sensory overload. Does this sound familiar?
Here are some strategies to keep everyone (caregivers included) as regulated as possible during the “seasonal stir” that our occupational therapists recommend at Little Legends Therapy.
Practice visual, verbal, or mental rehearsal with your children:
Sticking to your typical routine during the holiday season can be difficult. Prepping children the night before and letting them know what to expect, rules, manners, and exit strategies can decrease anxiety for everyone. Letting them know where they are going, who will be there, and what time can allow them to visualize and ask questions beforehand. You can then walk them through any potential problems or questions they might have. Utilizing a visual schedule, this can be as simple as writing down the “plan” for the day on a sheet of paper with a pen, and crossing it off as you go. If there are any unexpected changes, you can add it to the plan!
Come prepared:
Bringing tools with you to help keep your child regulated is essential. Whether your child is a picky eater, overwhelmed by loud environments, or cannot sit still at a table, there are tools to help. Here is a common list of items that can assist to calm your child’s nervous systems.
- Gum and sugar free suckers
- Crunchy snacks
- Sucking large liquid through a straw (water bottles or smoothies)
- Weighted lap pads or blankets
- Noise canceling headphones
- Stress balls (NeeDoh is amazing!)
- Preferred toy
- Blowing bubbles (small bubble wands)
This includes coming prepared for long car rides if traveling. Make sure to bring preferred items, wearing comfy clothes, and let the drive be a time where everyone can “wind-down.”
Incorporate sensory input during the day:
Incorporating 7-10 minutes of rhythmic and repetitive input every hour is the optimal amount of time required to keep our bodies in a regulated state. Below is a list of activities you can include throughout the week to maintain regulation.
- Jumping on a trampoline
- Swinging
- Playing with different media (kinetic sand, playdough, water beads, slime, rice, corn, etc).
- Making a “bubble tower”
- Crashing onto pillows and blankets
- Listening to preferred music
- Riding a bike or scooter
- Bouncing a ball
- Rocking
- Walking
- Yoga
- Repetitive crafts
- Perler beads
- Coloring
- Drawing
- Have a “calm” space for kids to decompress in
Have an exit plan:
When you arrive at a gathering or event, talk beforehand about when it is a good time to leave. You may notice an increased presence of behaviors due to fatigue, this may be a good time to leave to take a nap. You can come up with a hand signal or a phrase that indicates it is time to go. Make sure to honor how your child is feeling and be true to yourself about how you are feeling!
Lower expectations:
When children experience stress, you will notice a regression in their behavior. This could look like baby talk, difficulty following simple instructions, hyper-activity, and inability to complete their daily routine. It is important to meet your child where they are at until they can regulate and access the thinking part of their brain again. This might look like offering two choices or you completing 80% of the task while they finish the remaining 20%. Make sure your children know that it is always okay to ask for a break when needed.
Parents and co-regulation:
Parents often forget to think about their own self-care during this time of year. The stress of the holidays puts most adults in a dysregulated state and modeling this can impact children. It is important that parents schedule down-time for themselves into their day. This could be during nap time for littles and/or homework time. Simple things like reading, watching TV, exercise, and journaling are great ways to re-center. If you are modeling anxiety and stress, your child will follow suit. It’s important to remember your self-care and coping skills and practice them regularly.
We hope that these strategies help your family successfully navigate the upcoming holiday season!